remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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