May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
