Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
