Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
