apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
