The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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