New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
