Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
