Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize
