Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
