Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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