New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
