and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
