Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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