so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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