i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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