If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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