I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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