physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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