Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize