found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
