Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
