My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
