I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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