I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
