What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
