you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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