What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
