Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
