To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
