I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
