There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
