I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
