Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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