youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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