A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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