it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
we should paint friendship bongs
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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