And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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