While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
