Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
