would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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