is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
