im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
