guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
