He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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