did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
