you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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