I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize