So drunk its hurt
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
The Olympian is in my bed
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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