So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Even my vagina gasped.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
