Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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