bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
