would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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