Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize