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Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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