Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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