Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
