pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
