drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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