You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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