just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
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