wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
