I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
