Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I FOUND THE LEGS
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
