What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
