I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
