I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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