I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
