i just had sex bonerless
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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