From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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