I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize