AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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