Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
