Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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